


My Friends Need to be Punished.

by yearbookcrush



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Baby Deere tho, F/M, Family Fluff, Friend's OC, Gen, Gift Fic, Happy, I don't think Dove has an AO3 account rip me, My Femui (well my main one) is Minori, Natsuki is not mine I cannot write OCs this perfect, [Ike voice] I write for my friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-07-26
Packaged: 2018-04-11 06:59:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4425824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yearbookcrush/pseuds/yearbookcrush
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Twelve spoons are missing.</p>
<p>Loosely based on this scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cmdx7C_R6rA</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Friends Need to be Punished.

Out of all the things that could be missing, it was the _**spoons.**_

 

Not the china plates, not the teapot, the spoons. Specifically, twelve spoons were missing. Needless to say. Joker was a mess.

 

“I hadn't even polished them yet, and they've gone missing! I'm a failure of a butler!” Joker wailed, hiding his face in his hands.

“You can polish them twice as much once we find them.” Natsuki said, trying to comfort her husband. “Don't cry, sweetheart.”

“Whoever did this is going t-” Joker said, suddenly being cut off by the sound of an echoing, distant rattle.

 

They looked at each other, clearly able to tell what the other was thinking.

 

“You think that's the spoon thief?” Natsuki whispered, looking in the direction the noise came from.

“If it is, they get to polish the spoons to pay for what they did.” Joker whispered.

“At least help them!” She snorted, patting her husband on the head.

 

The couple slowly crept towards the sound, and eventually found that it was coming from a supply room, and in the very middle, sat Deere.

 

“That's one for all of them, and I have the pickles...” Deere muttered to himself.

 

Joker looked on in horror, shocked that his own son would do such a thing to the innocent spoons.

 

“What's he doing...?” Natsuki muttered, slowly approaching her son.

“I hear you, mom.” Deere said, shoving the spoons into a large pickle jar in front of him.

“I thought you might...” Natsuki said, looking suspiciously at the jar. “What are you doing with the spoons?”

 

Deere turned his head, looking Natsuki dead in the eye, screwing the lid back on the jar, the spoons sealed inside. “My friends need to be punished.”

 

At this point, Natsuki thought Deere was probably posessed, and was on the verge of calling for Sakura, when she realized...

 

_**TWELVE**_ spoons? ****Why were there twelve? There were only eleven children that Deere knew personally, who was the twelfth? Himself?

 

“Why do you have twelve spoons?” She managed to choke out, shooting a glance back to her husband, who simply shrugged.

“I got another one for my little brother.” Deere replied matter-of-fact, shaking the jar vigorously.

“What little brother?” Natsuki asked, beginning to wonder if...no, it was impossible for Deere to have caught on, he was five.

“The one you haven't told me or dad about yet.” Deere replied. Well, looks like he had caught on.

“Haven't told...?” Natsuki said, trying to keep a straight face.

“The one in your belly.” Deere replied, staring at the jar.

 

How in the hell Deere found this out is up to debate, but he was telling the truth.

The story of how this all went about became one of Kanna's favorites. Deere still steals pickle jars and spoons to this day, and nobody knows where he found out about this “spell” or if it even works in the first place.

 


End file.
